Near death experiences!!!

Commiting suicide an easy solution to everything but how easy is it actually...
At this point i feel like i so wanna die... Aloneness, lack of tht person who can totally identify with you 
and accepts you for you. You often feel how much would you really be missed if you are gone. Also you 
wonder if these close death warnings are any hints from God. Is it a warning for you or about someone else? 
When you about to fall if your best friend doesnt hold your hand to prevent you from falling does it make her
a bitch or a less of a friend? I never break down the space i have between me and all my friends. Kinda 
afraid to let them get too close to me. I have never wanted to feel dependent on anyone either too getting
close to someone is also being to dependent on someone. I have never been satisfied with anythin in life yet.
So dieing now means dieing without managing to achieve anything yet. This guilt is somewhat worse to die with.
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