So what happens next?? It is something that bothers everyone. I mean we are never really satisfied with the present and keep wondering what happens next. Okay I probably am first of a kind I don’t exactly know what I want from my future but I am also unhappy with the present. I mean that is kind of lame right? If u don’t know exactly what you want from the future you should not whine about the present!!

It is actually more frustrating to hear everyday too that u have not even lived close to your parents dreams and you are and will be to me a disappointment as always. Well you should crack down after hearing things like this from the one person that really matters but then I ignore it. I just assume it is the menopause talking or it is her rest of frustration talking. Okay but I suck at these relations whether if it is these mother daughter ones or the ones with friends. I am too afraid to be too close because I fear of being let down. Mom agrees to me being a letdown so there you go don’t want my friends to think the same.

You sometimes feel confused with this world what is right what is wrong. I am always considered wrong because according to this society girls are not supposed to think like that.  Movies can be so liberating at times. You feel like you totally this character. Then you wonder are you actually such a stupid self centred naive bitch. Lol i don’t know what I want from life or why I evolved to such a different person from my childhood. I don’t know why I have become gloomier and more depressed as I grew older. Maybe I might be smart enough to figure out the answer for myself someday.

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